The rights of women in the Middle East
Women in the Middle East, like women everywhere, carry pregnancies, give birth and raise children. In this article, Nada Al-Ahdal describes how society still denies them their most basic rights, and asks families to choose a different path for their daughters.
A double burden
Women make great physical sacrifices to bring children into the world. They are mainly responsible for bringing new life, and they bear great hardship each year to give birth. This is twice the responsibility a man carries.
Even so, society in general has loaded women with more than men could bear. It has locked them at home and taken their freedom. It has taken their dignity by keeping them from work, belittling and insulting them, and making them ashamed to ask for their human rights.
Customs that restrict women
Society forces women to follow unjust customs and traditions. It forces girls into sexual relations in childhood under the name of "child marriage". It forces a woman to obey men, until she becomes a commodity to be traded. She may not even give her name to her newborn, because that is considered shameful, on the grounds that women are "lacking in reason and religion". She lives the life of a slave, as women have for thousands of years.
Society has clipped her wings so that she cannot reach her dreams. It has mastered physical and mental torture, abused her at home and robbed her of her freedom and dignity, all under social and religious justifications.
She has no legal protection if she goes to the police. She has no right to divorce a violent husband. She has no rights if her father, brother or husband kills her. She cannot express her opinion at all.
It is as if a solid steel wall has been built around her to stop her from claiming her human rights. She is shut out of all economic, political and social opportunities, and her body is treated as a product to be traded.
She has been deprived of all her rights, and her humanity has been destroyed. Even her own children may feel ashamed to say her name or show her picture. Sharing her name or image is forbidden, and even treated as a crime.
The few who succeed
Despite all these restrictions, some women still manage to succeed and reach their goals. But they are very few, because of the many obstacles women face.
A man can reach even his simplest goals easily. A woman can win even her most basic rights, to education or to work, only after a long struggle. She has to persist, fight hard, rebel, or flee to another country. She may succeed only if her family is cultured and educated and lets her have part of her rights, under many conditions, restrictions and repressive laws. A man faces no such limits, even if his goals are to declare war, kill innocent people and oppress others.
A call to the world
I call on the world to help girls in the Middle East, and to open the doors of embassies, consulates and human rights organisations to women. Women make up two-thirds of society. They raise future generations, help nations rise again and make peace.
Women must know their social and human value and be able to improve their economic situation. Then they can make decisions in society and never accept humiliation or insult for the sake of a living.
Questions for families
I will not speak at length to women, because their decisions are still not in their hands; we hope, God willing, that one day they will be. I want to speak to the community itself.
- Are you content for your sister or daughter to be humiliated and insulted by a man because he provides for her?
- After your death, would you accept that your divorced daughter is thrown into the street, or has to share a husband with other wives just to support her and her children?
- Are you content to see your daughter crying every week, or almost every day, because of her husband's violence, oppressed and broken?
- If that happens, is the answer to divorce her and look for another man?
- Are you content for your daughter to depend on society and other people?
- To be humiliated, or to beg in the streets?
- All because you denied her education and work, made her only a commodity for marriage, and left her unable to run her own life and decisions?
Or do you want her to live with honour and dignity, supporting herself from her work, her experience and her education? Then she will thank you in your life and after your death, because you raised a great and strong girl. She will be able to improve her life freely and independently, and no one will exploit her ignorance or poverty.
Fear of what people will say
If you fear the community's blame, be sure that it will blame you anyway. It will call your daughter a shame and a disgrace. If she marries, it will say she ran away from her husband or asked for a divorce, or that you failed to choose a husband for her. If she divorces, it will treat her as a disgrace.
If you let her finish her education, people will also talk. But in return you will have a strong daughter who praises you, loves you and stands by you in old age. In time she will become an example to society. You will see neighbours follow the same steps, you will grow old proud of your daughter's success, and you will die with peace of mind.
Either you share in your daughter's success and in the renewal of your country, your home and your community, or you submit to society's unjust customs. Then you become one of the herd, with no influence, wishing humiliation and injustice on your own daughters.
Many girls are afraid of being punished if they change their lives. Parents feel this fear too. Many parents listen to us now and are completely convinced that we are right. They wish to change their community and family, but they fear society's sanctions.
One father says: "I want my daughter to be a successful and strong heroine." Another says: "I want my wife to be economically strong, so that if something happens to me, my children are not left as orphans and she does not have to look for another man. If her education improves, her income will improve, she will make her own decisions, and my children will live with her in safety and dignity."
The hard road
To those who fear the community's sanctions and hurtful words, we say this. The easy way leads to an easy result. The hard way leads to strong and great goals, and you will find that hardship builds strong people.
Cheap things soon wear out, while valuable, genuine things last for ever.
Girls, the same is true for you. A hard road full of trials will make you a great heroine and an unbeatable force.
Start now, and do not hesitate over your decision or your plans for the future. Work to change your community, and remember that change begins in your own small family. Convince your father, mother and brother of the importance of girls' rights and of your own rights. Show the people around you your strong goals and your plans for a future that will make you great in the eyes of your community and of the generations to come.